Mary you and I met several years ago in a Game of Thrones like scenario that we were both thrown in that we wont name here , and we became fast allies!
Right out the gate - whats your theme song:
"I'm Still Standing" - Elton John
Where do you hail from originally
A little village called Ardfert, near Banna beach in Co Kerry.
again , just Wow
How many brothers do you have
4!!! Two older, two younger.
I know you have your morning routine down, can you share it?
Sure! I generally rise between 5.30-6.30am and head straight for the kitchen. I make a cup of tea (Barry's, obvs), hot water bottle and 2 slices of brown bread with real butter and marmalade and head back to the cot. The next hour or so is all about me. Depending on the morning, I might read, listen to music or just sit and think about all the lovely things I have going on. As long as there are no interruptions or negativity, I'm happy! I head for my shower around 7.30am and I'm ready for the day ahead. Simples!
What was your first job?
We had a family business (village grocery shop) so I was born into a job that I absolutely hated! When I turned 15 I walked into my favourite clothes shop in Tralee, 'Shindig' (shout out to Gary and Ciara!), CV in hand and asked for a job. I started there and then and kept that job all through college. It had a huge influence on me in terms of style and music and I got to go on buying trips abroad which was an incredible opportunity at such a young age. My favourite part definitely was dressing the window.
Family business is better than a Harvard Education .The stuff you learn!
Mary, you posses that rare combo of being truly artistic and having buckets of common sense . Please explain?
Wow, what a gorgeous compliment! It's a work in progress really, I certainly haven't always had a level of balance. In my teens and most of my twenties, I was so consumed by the idea of perfection. I was constantly comparing myself to others and I was utterly miserable. I was a car crash waiting to happen, and then it happened! I literally got knocked down by a car. The recovery from that was the hardest thing I have ever done in my 35 years on this earth. The physical aspect was tough, but the mental rehabilitation was excruciating. I eventually got to a place where I am so grateful for my part in the world and all the wonderful people and things in it. I can admire, but not desire and realised that patience and perseverance are absolutely everything in this life. Keeping things simple is common sense, don't overcomplicate it.
The theme of reinventing comes up here a lot- like myself you believe in a good “do-over”. Any tips on how to put that in motion? Any signs that you may need a do-over that you could pass along? Sometimes people are afraid of change.
I think we're all afraid of change really, aren't we? It's scary and the 'what if's' are endless. What if I'm worse off? What if I don't like it? What if it doesn't work out? What if I make a mistake? What if I fail? What if they think I'm stupid? What if, what if, what if.
You know where endless 'what if's' leave you? Absolutely nowhere! An unhappy, torturous limbo-land of uncertainty and regret.
If you find yourself envious or resentful of others, longing for a different existence, unhappy in a relationship or job, living too far in the past or ahead to the future without being able to enjoy the here and now, it's time to assess your lot. Start small, no one expects you to completely reinvent yourself overnight, commit to it, then build up to the bigger challenges.
I'm quite a visual person so mine all have to go on paper to sort them out. What's bothering me? What would I like to change? What are my options? HOW can I change that. Step-by-step, break it down. The overall mission can often seem too daunting to undertake so instead of avoiding it completely, simplify it down to steps and stages and it's much more achievable. You have absolutely no way of predicting the future, so any path you take that doesn't endanger or harm you, is progress. If it doesn't work out as you had planned, you've still moved forward having tried something new instead of staying still. You are never, ever stuck and you always have a choice, You just have to pick something and act on it.
After a dust up are you mostly a sulker or a fighter?
100% sulker. Haha! I gave my Pops hell during my teen years. The only one in the house who could out-sulk him. I've realised as I've gotten older though that I actually need the quiet time after an argument to consider all angles and arrange my thoughts fairly. I really don't like confrontation and heightened emotions blur my decision making / thought process. I always come back to sort it out properly though when things are less fraught. As my friend Mal says "There's three sides to every story - yours, mine and the truth."
I can be both . I think I need to commit more to one.
Do you have a Mentor
I have lots and they change all the time and come in all forms, shapes and sizes! I tend to take what I need from people, places, nature, things as the need rises. Often something will just strike a chord and you think 'hmmm...' and adapt it to your own needs.
The world has changed almost over night, it can get very easy for people to tap into the collective global anxiety . Any tips or tricks for people to re-focus? Ive gone old school- I only listen to the News at 9pm -which is of course throwing up all sorts of flashbacks ie my Leaving Cert hahahah but its kind of fun to feel those feelings again)
Haha, totally, just after finishing 'Where In The World'!
While it's good to keep yourself informed of what's going on in the world, it should be on a need-to-know basis and it should never consume you. Obsessively checking updates and bombarding yourself with sensationalist and negative news-stories has absolutely zero benefits to your wellbeing. Same goes for being around people who feed into these behaviours. First and foremost, check in with yourself and take it from there. We've never had as much time and little opportunity to escape addressing any ongoing personal issues so I think this time will prove hugely beneficial for a lot of people. We're pretty much being forced into facing up to ourselves, no escape. It can be a very difficult and painful process, but I can't emphasise enough how worthwhile and long-lasting the results are.
One thing that I find really helpful and easy to do is each night, just before lights out, I write down from that day: 1. Who I loved 2. What made me laugh 3. What did I learn. Then you can drift off on a positive note instead of anxious. It's cool to look back on too. All technology is switched off by 9.30pm at the latest so there's no temptation to check what's going on or get distracted.
Most of all, be kind and gentle to yourself. Try new things and see what sticks. Nobody has this sussed, we're all just figuring it out.
How would you describe your aesthetic ?
Contradictory! My aesthetic is very much mood-based so it changes from day to day. As a general rule though, I absolutely adore black and white monochromatic looks, particularly stripes, with a pop of something really cheeky like neon pink or clashing leopard print. I love a bold clashing print.
Whats the best (or worst ) advise you ever got
The one that I always remember was shared with me by a wonderful man named Charlie. I was completely paralysed with self-doubt and insecurity at the time so he advised me that every time I had one of those negative thoughts, I was to put myself in a court of law. I needed to have witnesses, evidence etc to prove beyond any reasonable doubt that this negative thought was factually true. My inner critic had stopped cheering me to aim high, but rather crippling me instead.
@maryagness84 works in Dublin with my freind Laura.
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